Scars traced up and down the burnt flesh that clung to her flaccid sides. The sickly composition of the girl that gasped on the pavement and stuck to brick wall like a mosquito digging into flesh and feasting on life. Just one more drop, just one more, just one. The atonements of taste and touch, her battery acid veins. Weeks of peeling off the layers, one by one, uncovering a new kind of drug that itched and scraped against her organs, forcing its way down and infiltrating her senses until the skin was confetti that flew over her head, splattered blood-paint across her cheeks and coloured the pavement. Her eyelids fluttered at every premonition, a scream caught in her throat and died at her tongue, the tastebuds salted with ash and charcoal. A backdrop lit her fears from behind and illuminated her weaknesses. The asphalt met with her knees in a crash of white bone and broken pavement. A twisting dandelion dusted her flesh a violent yellow. Her hands held the world in a locked grip as her hopes were dashed by darkening shadows and painful thoughts. Oncoming headlights, one broken and fading, reflected in a teardrop that careened down the side of her face, briefly meeting with her earlobe, before tracing across her chin and dropping, dropping, crashing. A crushed bottle in her hands. Just one more drop, just one more, just one.

And I have to keep telling myself:

It's better without him. I never liked him anyway.

Perhaps it is better to live a once-removed life. Perhaps it is better not to love, or only to love love or love loving love, but never to be in love and to always say not-truths, because they are better than living in the now.

Carifest kicked ass.

Stolen Doritos, Cotton Candy double flavour sno-cones, jamaican patties, steel drums, WILFRED, etc.

I watched Crash again tonight. I can't believe how much I love that movie.

Felt somewhat sad at the end of the evening, but not enough to shake me. Looking forward to ending this post so I can read some more of my amazing book and sleep.

Tiene una buena noche, amigos.

Finally free.

But not feeling it.

His eyes danced in the moonlight.
She could feel the evil disposition of the night. It howled with the wind and stirred her soul.
He held out his hand, "Do you trust me?"
His hand was warm against the chill of the wind, "Yes."
In sequenced steps, they walked up to the perch of darkness and stepped off the edge of fate, sirens wailing below them and the night holding its breath.

Yes, unfortunately I do read this web comic... But man, hugs are good.

Bones and muscle tissue
protruded from his left shoulder,
his right hip, a pocket in his cheek.
The sinewy exposition carved out
his soul and threw it to center stage,
exposed and bleeding.

A year passes by and your eyes begin to reflect the memories. I remember the sideways glances you use to give to me. I remember the sideways smiles that erupted from your face as your eyes brushed by mine. I wonder why you never said my name. I wonder how many times you've walked down a street alone, the cars passing you by and making you feel so small. Tell me, can you remember the time when we laughed out of nervousness and were eager to love before love was swept away? Stay a while. I want this moment to last, like when we first held hands. The electricity was a firebolt under static stars. Your kiss seemed to last until forever. Are we still waiting to catch our breaths? Cast your eyes again to me. Smile like you've missed me. Smile like you've loved me all along.

Tell me of your love.
The cool evanescence of your kiss.
The allure of your fingertips.
Baby, you're right.
I'm afraid of love.
Our first kiss could be in the rain,
under soaked and drenched stars,
and the heat between bodies pulling us close.
I would imagine you taste like the rain.
I would imagine you cool to the touch.
Maybe you could love me.
Baby, you could try.

Late Night Confessions

I can't sleep...I know I won't be able to sleep. Too many things to think about, neuron connections in my brain firing randomly.

I like a boy, who, likely, doesn't like me back. I melt when he smiles at me. It's terrible and I love it. I just wish there was a certainty. A Jr. High way to tell a friend who tells him and he tells them that he likes me and they tell me and ah...bliss. Too bad we have to be mature.

No more school soon. This means freedom, but no more seeing the boy with the nice smile..However, freedom is good. Six more days, 4 more exams.

I work too hard when I don't have to. I feel too weighed down by the world.

"Don't it make you sad to know that life is more than who we are" - Goo Goo Dolls (Name)

Yes, Goo Goo Dolls, it does indeed make me sad.

You pause.

The ice cracks.

I see your tilted face as it becomes skewed in confusion.

You gasp and slip through the cracks.

I step back and watch you struggle.

I don't save you.

I watch you drown,

So that my heart will drown with you,

And I may regret my decisions,

But I'll never regret walking away from the pain

Of loving you.

She keeps a tiny glass box filled with tiny spider webs on a chain around her neck. She wants to let go, fall through the layers of protective glass. She wants to kiss strange boys in hallways and fall in love on a dare. Her fingers shake at lost opportunities that she couldn't grasp. She buries her love in her backyard and marks it with an X. She converses on rainy days with fictional characters named Peter and Holden and Jim. Sometimes, in the dark, she opens the spiderweb box and lets the evil out. Sometimes, she laughs at the fate of the world. Sometimes, she wishes she wasn't so afraid of the light.

She said, "My love for him is like...before I was swimming underwater doing fine, but then I had a breath of air and the oxygen lingered in my lungs. It was tangible and new. But as soon as it appeared it was wasted by circulation. And now I need another breath of air, another kind word from him, a glance, a touch, to keep me going. Before I was fine, but now, without oxygen, I'm slipping through the water. I'm learning how to drown. And I'm so afraid of the dark that waits to swallow me whole."

I Don't Want To Run

A slighted twinge and she slips away under his haunted spell.

Lost on the recieving end of his smiles.

She spends a day with his memory and imagines future flirtations.

He sends her sparks with just one look.

She stumbles over his glances, while her heart beats painfully.

He whispers a world away.

She hopes too much.

He laughs in chorus with them.

She hopes too much.

He smiles close to other girls.

She hopes too much.

His glances are already absorbed by too many faces.

She lets her hope drown.

He breaks, crumbles, falls through her hands.

She loved too much.

And now she'll run.