the same phrase I've been licking off your lips since I was eighteen.

I don't know how to exist 

in a room with no air 

and you. 

It's like I've always been someone else's 

and never my own. 

I get off 

on the impulse. 

I get wet from implications,

timing,

and anonymity. 

Who takes control

when I surrender? 

Even here,

even now.