A play in ounces II

Am I a mountain before you? 

What rocks are you picking up 

along the way? 

You should know

my emotions are heavier than yours. 

You will find me near the bottom,

weighed down by 

dopamine and missing dendrites. 

I practice my smile

like a doll. 

I thought I wanted me. 

I thought I had changed. 

When will I climb

like you

with sunflowers at my feet? 

Do you trace the map with your fingers and wonder, like I do,

what it's like to have never truly existed here?

I want to hold your hand

with crushing talons.