I am sick
of waking up,
with you
without me.
Maybe that's why...
Maybe that's why I smile
when I fall asleep, because I know,
if only for a little while,
you're here,
with you,
with me.
A blanket of white,
greeted me that day,
when I woke up,
without you there.
It didn't change my outlook
on time,
or reason.
You were always
gone.
And I guess
that ticked me off,
like a clock, winding, and unwinding,
in perfect precision.
I stood and arched my feet and spun around,
my hands clenching the white sheets,
me
being
without you.
Then I stumbled, and lost my place,
in the world.
I hit the dresser,
and bumped open the drawer.
I stood up,
now on flat feet,
and found the hidden puzzle piece
to my childlike grin.
And so maybe,
that night,
when the stars blanketed the sky,
I smiled because I knew that,
this night,
you wouldn't be gone when I woke up in the morning.
You would be here,
on blood-patterned sheets,
with you,
with me.