Monday, October 25, 2004

A poem for Jesse Ca (because every once and a while we don't know our own voices)

Once upon a time, I broke a mirror.
In the fragments, I saw your face.
So, I picked up the mirror, and glued it back together.
I never saw your face again,
but I knew it was there.
Why wouldn't the mirror show me you again?
Will I always be waiting such a long time for you?
I've been picking up the pieces for as long as I know.

I never knew how many times I could count upon the stars
make a wish, dream a dream, fall into your arms.
I thought it was impossible for you to drop me on my feet,
but you did.
For all the ifs I have not said...
if I had only told you
if I had only said it straight
if you had only heard me
...I'd take them all back if you hadn't wished I was dead.
How funny it seems now, that heartbreak follows.
How funny it seems now, that I can't seem to focus.
Let the light in. Draw a curtain.
Sit down and listen well. I have too much to tell.
This isn't a story. This isn't a rhyme.
This is always and only- time.
So don't forget me, so I can forget you.
Tell me you never meant to wish me unwell.
All we have is time. Were they all wasted years in your mind?
They seem to always find me in unusual places.
Haunting my days, Damning my nights.
Follow the footsteps. Don't lose the beat.
Tread carefully or you'll step on my feet.
I listened always.
Talked often.
Never knew I'd fall such a ways.
There are secrets you never knew.
When once upon a time I fell for you.

(There's a quote I forget from a movie I forget. It's about Big Love. It goes something like 'If you love someone, it takes a month or so to move on with your life. If you have big love for someone, it takes years to get over them. If you have huge love for someone, it takes your whole life to get over them.' I know, I know...I suck at remembering quotes. It's just that that one stuck in my mind. So...yeah.)


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